The Man Sphere

…always think improvement.

Making the Bed

…a guy’s playbook to the bedding deptartment.

Every so often someone contacts us with a question that we think is worth noting, if only because we know, as guys, that there are a lot of guys who have the same question but don’t want to risk asking it.

What’s the risk? Just ask!

Anyway, here’s the question:

Hey Man Sphere,

I was out shopping with my mom the other day. I just graduated college and she was helping me pick out stuff for my new “grownup” apartment. Anyway, so she said I needed a grownup bed, and that my pillows and sheets just weren’t going to cut it for a man’s room.

As soon as we hit the bedding section, I felt like I was buried in household stuff I’ve never even heard of before. Shams? Duvets? Duvet covers? 200, 400, 1200 tread counts??? I’ve always had a set of sheets, two pillows in pillow cases, and a blanket…maybe a comforter in the winter. What the hell is with the rest of this stuff? Can you maybe do an article on bedding to help average guys like me who don’t know what a bed skirt is for? Thx

Robert C., Maryland

Yeah Robert, we know exactly how you feel. There’s always that awkward moment when you realize, “Crap…I need four pillows, even though I only sleep on one?!”

As it turns out, the system isn’t all that confusing. Most of the stuff you described is decorative. The idea is similar to your dining room table. You don’t need salad forks and dinner forks, but every cutlery set comes with them (like you need 24 forks in your drawer!). You don’t need cloth napkins that coordinate with your placemats, but there’s a higher standard of class when you use them.

We know that for 99% of your meals you use a paper towel. Don’t sweat it.

Transferring the same logic to the bedroom, imagine this: You’re a new professional, just out of college. You’ve worked hard, got a great job, and you land a few dates with the perfect girl. She suggests you go back to your place for a nightcap, and things get interesting from there. You make it to the bedroom, and there, between the hockey poster, high school trophies, and model cars you made in grade eight, sits your single bed. Oh, it might be neatly made, but somehow the single pancake of a pillow and coordinating X-Men sheets worn so thin you could hang them as mosquito netting just doesn’t describe the serious, committed professional she hoped you’d be.

Hmmm…might be time to up the stakes a little there, Sport.

Even though you’re not likely to use everything on your bed, it has to be styled like an adult bed. That means, yes, decorative pillows and sheets that reflect your new status. But that doesn’t mean it has to be all florals and lace either. It’s a balance: you know you need a practical sleeping space, but at the same time you need to show that you’ve moved to a stage of life where you can furnish your surroundings on purely aesthetic grounds. The idea is to give the impression that you’re a man who values comfort and luxury, and who can make a bed that deserves to be un-made.

Here’s what you need to know:

[read more…]

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This entry was posted on July 18, 2012 by .
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